True Stories On The Internet That Absolutely Happened, 100% No Doubt [Blink]

I never knew it’s humanly possible to live on Oreos for days! Thanks for letting me know, I finally found the perfect food to keep in my bunker. I still have so many questions, though. How is your mom doing, girl? Where was she staying for four days? Was she always in the kitchen or living room?

I’m just trying to understand how there’s no possibility of sneaking him back out for four days. Does her mother have superpowers like super hearing? And most importantly, did her boyfriend ever go to the restroom, or did he hold it as well for four days? How cool was that story? Also, I hope her mom’s doing well now after deciding to be sick for four exact days.