#25: A Pirates Life For Me
As a child, I always kind of thought that pirates were the coolest versions of human beings. They were just like normal human beings but with all kinds of additional features like hooks for hands, peg legs, and eye patches. It was only when I grew up that I started to wonder if so many of them really lost eyes.

This is a revelation that totally shatters my preconceptions about pirates. I assumed they just weren’t very good fighters, and so routinely lost important organs or limbs. Turns out they were just adaptive geniuses. I might try this technique out next time I have the need to go below deck.
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